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gosh.6.11 am.2 more hours till class.
i know i should be sleeping.
but i keep on doing my after effects for the short film.
should i sleep now?haha
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2010
we’re progressing fast into the future.and every seconds passed,there’s alot to be learnt,whether its good or bad.whether we learnt from it is one thing.to let it eat us is another.paths will open;which would you choose?are you daring enough to take the risk?or let the atmosphere and pressure overwhelms you?only time will tell.
first of all,i would love to say thanks to all those that stayed true.who were there beside me through and through.picking me up when i’m down to laughing like a clown.i must say,i enjoyed every moment of it.[kei theory,bastiches,x-men etc].i wouldnt dare to trade any of you guys cause you guys are just damn awesome.thanks alot for that.
secondly,i want to say sorry to all those that i’ve hurt.i know i’m a bastard sometimes but not all the time.i’ve realised that respect is what i lacked most and i’ve learned from it.i hope that you guys gave me a chance to prove myself that i can be better.
thirdly,happy new year.may all your resolutions comes true.=D
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was bored part 1
was bored part 2
was bored part 3
was bored part 4
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its been a few weeks since all that turmoil that happened.
and i am glad that i’ve put it behind and move on.
it may not be all sunshine for me from now on.
but i guess that is what will make me better as a whole.
i rather not stay there in the dark waiting and hoping for a miracle to happen.
i guess thats what life have taught me.
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i just noticed today.how am i not impactful in someone life.
maybe to them,i’m just another person entering their life.
and fade out as time goes by..
each one have their own unique persona.
they can either be a cheerful lad who can make everyone laugh or a certain asshole that will spite every single person.
but no matter how good or bad he/she is as long as people can feel their presence, they’ll be remembered till forever.
i seem to hate it when everyone keep talking about someone and when it comes to me,they dont even know what to say.it hurts to feel that way.i just feel left out.thats why i chose not to be there cause i dont seem to be appreciated.when everyone had their moments and scenes,i’ll be there alone not knowing what comes next.
being the popular kid is what everyone wants but not all have what it takes.dreaming to be in the crowd,in the center of attention.who wouldnt want that.but only dreams can bring me forward.hoping that somehow,somewhere,i’ll be appreciated.but till when?
what comes next?no one knows.=\
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tired
this week has been hellish,lotsa stuff happened,and i’m kinda annoyed with some incident that i wont mention here.but most of all,i really appreciate the downtown men company,stupid name i know.but who cares about the name.its the people inside it that worth a zillion.so,thanks alot guys.
fyp:super hell.this is so fcuking much more worst than i expected.especially when you’re doing it with bestfriends.they kinda take things too easy that sometimes i really questions their commitment towards it.the fact that i was the leader is much more worst,10x job:setting date for meetings,emails,organize them etc.the fact that they just wait for my instruction somehow bothers me.
i’ve been totally engrossed with school hours and fyp that i think i seldom chat or talk to girls.but who cares,no one bothers anyway.love is a very heavy word.and again i’ll emphasize that i wont ever use it unless i’m totally ready to carry the burden of it.that includes you.
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sins and tragedy
as i lay,
drench in sins and tragedy,
who’s there to accompany??
i may not be the best option,
cause i dont even know what i want.
what do i want in life?
i dont even know.
you were there for me,
everytime,everyday.
but i never appreaciates it.
instead, harsh words came out from me.
its just my nature to be strict,
but i just dont know how to control it.
comes a day when everything crashes,
when i realised how important you are,
but its too late dear,its too late.
i’ll appreaciate every moment,
the ups and downs,cause i know.
you’re a part of my life at that moment of time.
and i really miss it,love it.
i’ll miss you deeply, my dear.
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you
i still remembered.every time,every second.you’re one very disturbed girl.but i dont care cause i know that deep inside,theres a fragile little girl who need a hand to walk into this harsh world.i tried breaking through the shell made of hatred,regrets and revenge.sticking through and through to just reach to that fragile girl.but everytime, i receive a cold reception from you.i know i may be the hundred or thousand to tried.but one thing for sure,i aint the same as everyone out there.
i aint giving up no matter what.no matter how cold you treat me.and one day,the shell just crack.you’re freed.nothing makes me happier than seeing you so happy.but no, things went wrong.the hundred and thousands gathered making you confused as to which hands that went through loads of hell to break that shell.that heart which have to endured all the pain of words.such a tragic scene of misfits.
tried my best in making me stand out among the rest.but was overshadowed by my own insecurities.thought i could fight it,but i couldnt.if you say you’re weird then i’m a retard.and now,my fears finally revealed.”whatever,i dont see any reasons why i should treat you so good than other guys”.it hurts so bad.it really did.
it doesnt and wont hurt me if you’re talking to the hundreds and thousands.it hurts me that i’m just a regret in your life.but it seems that you’ve made your decisions.but i know you’ve chosen a path.a path which your hands wont be holding mine.but i guess you know whats best for yourself.
i will be waiting for an sms or call or msn.i don’t care.I’ll wait here and see you as you reach your destination eventhough it wont be me alongside you.As i look back through all these moments,i must say i’m glad to have known you and i’m glad i managed to help you through your hardest moments.
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sometimes, i really wish i can read your mind.everything is so messed up.one day you’ll be like this and on another day you’ll be like that.why the change?i’ve tried helping you sort this out and i’m glad that you did.but now, i just dont understand what is going on.
it seems to me that you’re a self-centered person who only care about your happiness but what bout the people surrounding you?what will happen to them?to me?i understand clearly that you mean it as a joke but it seriously hurts me so bad.
maybe,just maybe.i’m too fragile.=\
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dilemna
i’m in such a state that no one can even believe i’m in right now.no matter how bad things goes,i’m still able to put up a smile and brushed it aside.been keeping it inside for too long that i myself think that its gonna explode and cause such a wreck.but i’m still keeping it inside cause i treat and respect them as my friends.but,do they share the same sentiment towards me.
however,the trust and respect has been shattered.lost and abandoned with what had happened today.the 3 hours isnt fun.it isnt at all.waited and waited.hoping and believing that the phone will ring and reassure me of you guys coming.but it never came.instead i had to call you guys to get full info.whatever reasons you came up with,i cant blame anyone.cause it may or may not be true.
on the way back home,smsed pinksunflowergirl.hoping that she’ll calm me down from all the disastrous events that had happened.but clearly,she’s mad with me.i know i may sound harsh and not even think before speaking but i hope you’ll forgive me.i really miss talking to you.i really do
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